Don’t be a Weird Wife-Would you Want to be Married to You?”

A long time ago I heard a motivational speaker ask, “would you want to be married to you?”

The question stung deep down. Not because I‘m a bad wife, but I definitely didn’t feel confident that I was hitting a homerun in this area.

The word “weird” has a number of definitions. It also makes for a catchy title, and sums up the kind of wife I’d like not be:

Weird – induce a sense of disbelief or alienation in someone (Merriam Webster)

Synonyms: Off-kilter, off-beat, spaced-out, oddball, flaky, fearful

Honestly, I see myself in this definition. Thankfully my wife story doesn’t stop here. I’ve been blessed with an understanding husband, and I’m learning what to be instead.


Pay attention to your spouse. Pause the TV or flip over your phone when they talk. Remember what you notice. Do you struggle to remember? Write what they say down or save it in a reminder in your phone. Acknowledge what you notice. Cater to the details in what you do and say in the future.

Attention to details helps if  you’re going to be consistent.


Once you notice what he likes and how he likes it. Ask yourself, ” what can you consistently do to show and let him know that you’re paying attention?” This part is about what you can handle at your worst. It’s what you know you can be or do no matter what.  Never start with what you can do at your best because you won’t always be at your best. You, however, will be better than your worst most of the time. Start small and work your way up to what you can do consistently.

You’ll need to be consistent if you’re going to be careful.


What do you treat carefully? 

Your car

Your children

Expensive jewelry

Fine china

Your hair

A 401K

How about your marriage? Your spouse’s heart? I can’t tell you how to be careful with your spouse, but and can say that I’ve learned to have a date night with at least the same frequency as my hair color appointments. I don’t want to be guilty of caring about my roots more than my marriage.

Being careful will be like glue to your relationship, and will help you walk out the journey of being married in practical ways.

So I’ll ask you: would you want to be married to you?

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Everything With Amber, ©️2020

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